Pastor Practices What He Preaches

By Brandon Lemons

When I prepare a sermon, I often ask myself, “Why do people need to hear this?” Until I can answer that question, I’m not ready to give the sermon. Little did I know while preparing this past Sunday’s sermon that within 24 hours, I would need to apply it to myself.

Late Sunday evening, I became frustrated during some family vacation planning. As my kids have gotten older, they’ve definitely become more opinionated. (Parents of teenagers are probably not shocked by that statement!) Several factors converged at once: strong opinions, difficult decisions, a deadline, rising costs, and what felt to me like selfishness, disrespect, and a lack of gratitude. To be fair, my own weariness and attitude were not helping the situation either.

I went to bed frustrated. I woke up frustrated. Long before my alarm went off, my mind was already racing with irritation and angst. About 30 minutes into my morning routine on Monday, a phrase suddenly came to mind: “Give more than you get.” That was the title of the previous day’s sermon.

The sermon focused on the apostle Paul’s perseverance in loving and serving the Corinthian Christians despite the ways they misunderstood, doubted, and criticized him. Paul’s heart comes through in 2 Corinthians 12:15: “I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls.”

Paul describes a love that keeps giving even when it receives little in return. Like Jesus, who came “not to be served but to serve” (Mark 10:45), Paul poured himself out for the good of others – including people who often responded with ingratitude and criticism.

In the sermon, I contrasted transactional relationships with generous relationships. Transactional love says: “If I’m getting enough back, I’ll keep investing.” Generous love asks: “How can I serve?”

As I exercised on Monday morning, it suddenly hit me: my mindset the night before had not been generous. To be clear, this wasn’t mainly about the money involved in the vacation. It was about my attitude. Deep down, I realized I was expecting a certain emotional return for the sacrifices my wife and I are making – not only financially, but also in choosing locations, activities, and trying to create a meaningful experience for our family. When I didn’t feel appreciated the way I wanted, frustration took over.

In that moment on Monday, God helped me recognize something uncomfortable: while I was focused on my children’s selfishness, I had also become self-focused.

Yes, I still want my children to grow in gratitude, humility, and consideration for others. Those things matter deeply. But I also realized that one of the most important changes needed is a change in me – my perspective, my attitude, my heart.

In the sermon, I said: “Anytime there is strain in a relationship, one of the most important questions we can ask is: ‘Am I approaching this relationship transactionally or generously?’” This question came back to confront me personally. Was I giving generously? Or was I quietly keeping score?

I’m grateful God brought the sermon to mind, because honestly, I was not actively seeking His wisdom in that moment. I was simply working out and listening to a podcast unrelated to any of this. Yet God graciously used the truths of Scripture and the Gospel to redirect my heart. I needed to hear and apply the truths of Sunday’s sermon.

Oftentimes, the biggest change that can happen in a relationship begins with a change in us – our mindset, our attitude, our posture toward others. A generous mindset – one that is willing to “give more than you get” – truly does make a difference!

And as I continue planning this vacation and eventually experience it with my family, I know my mindset will shape not only my experience, but theirs as well. May God help me – and all of us – live with His generosity of spirit!